The Umbrella Theory

There are many great support networks these days to cater for men to talk about their issues and concerns, mental and physical health and general wellbeing. This is a far evolved place we find ourselves in compared to our forefathers. While it’s important to reflect, develop and empower oneself, I believe our greatest thrill is when our authenticity has a positive effect on others. A bit like the masks that drop down in an aeroplane emergency. When we breathe easier, we’re able to help others find their source of oxygen.

Not only does this inspire us to live our best life but it influences those with insatiable energy to explore, create, invent and grow. That inevitable generation to come. Those wide-eyed vulnerable creatures who have this naivety that relies on us to show them how to tackle life’s challenges. Young men (and young women) watching our every move like little hawks, absorbing all the subtleties we present and those we hide. Taking notes on how we men rise above conflict or shrink beneath it, affects them greatly.

The symbolic theory behind the umbrella image is simple. It’s the way we shelter ourselves, our mates and the children we parent or mentor. The umbrella won’t create full and guaranteed protection in a raging storm but it’s enough to take away the sting. It’s my attempt to counteract what I’ve seen going on in the past few decades. Okay, hopping on the soapbox here.

I’m alarmed at we construct concrete bunkers around the youth of today to prevent them feeling pain or discomfort. All this does is disempower them, inhibiting growth, strength and self-esteem. Cushioning the boys (and ourselves) from hardship not only weakens our foundations as men, but it creates a dependant generation who lack resilience and have higher demands because they don’t feel they can survive without us.

And…stepping off soapbox.

Rather if we embrace the primal nature of who we are mixed with new world parameters, we set a positive paradigm moving forward. We’ll support each other to evolve while showing the emerging generation how to play, how to work, how to foster healthy curiosities - all within safe but permeable boundaries.

We’ll establish that delicate balance to let them see the world around them, experience the elements, build strength through adversity while showing them how to build their own umbrella for future generations to find shelter.

From my many years of teaching youths in performing arts, I can look back and see for the most part, where my fulfilment existed. It wasn’t the clever script I wrote or the positive response an audience would (hopefully) give. It was the smile on the child’s face because they pushed through some discomfort and risked total humiliation to get on stage.

The support I gave them to step into the lion’s den armed with only their wits, triggered surprise and gratitude from parents who saw a change in little Jordan, Emily, Tristan…a newly sprouted growth they never thought possible. The end result of a standing ovation was just the euphoric jolt needed as a reminder (for them) that hard work and pushing through inner fear is worth it. It offers love and acceptance in all its quirky forms.

Having that kind of positive influence on another human is exhilarating. It’s what motivates me to do more, do better and gives me purpose. One that sure counteracts my moments of waning self-esteem.

I know that all sounds great in theory, but it’s not easy and it’s going to take some time to make significant change. I see a lot of unhappy, anxiety-ridden children entering the world with no clue or confidence in how they’re going to survive – and a lot of us men feeling exactly the same. This is why it’s more important than ever to do something about it…now.

Something more than just soldiering on, drudging through routines to provide the basic necessities, while ignoring the social decline underneath. There are challenges ahead that must be faced for all of us to reap the rewards.

We know what works. We know what doesn’t. Let’s be remembered as the generation who brought the world into a new phase of masculinity. That’s right fellas, we’re at our own crossroads, and a choice must be made. 

I don’t consider myself a poet by any means, but this came out of nowhere when I was white boarding ideas on finding healthy ways for us men to evolve with other men. I had been feeling such frustration around needing clarity, direction, purpose, when the Umbrella Theory dropped to me like a flash. Within twenty minutes I scribbled out this piece which not only encapsulated my thoughts, but was the kernel for seeding this whole idea…so I thought I’d share it here.

The Umbrella Men

He stands at the edge, a chasm so vast. The world that was, a shadowy past.

A modern man whose fear grips strong. Scared to step a single foot wrong.

He shrinks with expectations high. The ways he learned no longer apply.

The old beliefs have come to an end. Afraid to speak, to ever offend.

His role as father, lover, and king has morphed into a different thing.

His forefathers had one way to live. They shrug in response, now nothing to give.

He deeply wants to do what’s right. But no-ones there to hold him tight.

And blame will only leave him starved, so now a new path must be carved.

This fragile man, facing elements harsh, takes a glance at the desert so sparse.

He spots another, and then fifty more, whose heavy hearts bleed so raw.

He feels for his kin, that glaze in their eye. The echo of a soul so dry.

A stagnate shell that barely stands. Whose feet are bogged within the sand.

An unexpected feeling arrives. A tug from below, those hopeful eyes.

The little boy looks up to the man. Somewhat confused at how this began.

The man now sees a choice to make. Sure, he could hide and never awake.

He could leave that boy alone. Abandon him to fend on his own.

But something pulls him deep within. The storm clouds slowly rolling in.

He digs into the gritty dirt. The sight of something just unearthed.

He tugs it hard; it then comes free. A handle, curved, for all to see.

A fabric soft but sturdy, strong. He lifts it high, yes this belongs.

The storm arrives and pelts with rain. He knows this storm. It’s come again.

Relentless with rage, no mercy in sight, his canopy opens, ready to fight.

The boy huddles close, the storm he can see. But feeling the safety the man can be.

He senses the thrill of fear up ahead, but knows the man will shelter this dread.

The man looks down, his smile awakes. His purpose fulfilled, his spirit now quakes.

To see that spark in the little boy’s eye. To share the wonder, adventure so nigh.

A strength that holds through raging wind. Repelling the rain that slithers in.

A bond emerged from swirling dust. No words to utter, this newfound trust.

Then something near awakens from sleep. Another man sees this love so deep.

He too then digs, achieves his find. A sturdy umbrella of his own kind.

And then it spreads among the rest. The flurry of digging, the ultimate quest.

The thrill of the hunt, a treasure so rich. The boys beside them, excited they twitch.

The chasm, once a darkened night, now covered with shelters buzzing alight.

The first man and boy who gave the gift, know it’s all part of the bigger shift.

The boy bravely looks into his hand. The hand of a youthful growing man.

As he unfurls a gem unspoiled. His own umbrella so neatly coiled.

The boys now face this raging storm. Their feet are strong, their courage re-born.

They’ve seen the men defeat the fray. The choice to act or shy away.

So venturing out, their path so clear. Forging forth a new frontier.

And never will they feel alone, as they in turn can shelter their own.